Growing Up Among the Shadows

Arialin felt the calm, collected and cold gaze of his host looking into him, like trying to make sure everything he speaks is true. It didn’t make him uncomfortable, more like it poured a certain confidence in him – that Raithea will listen and try to understand. He was telling this story for the first time in his life, but the silent elf in front of him didn’t press, only waited. And that soothed Arialin.

“My parents were descendants of the elves who survived the collapse of house Undun, in the northern forests… the person who you ordered to paint so viciously, destroyed my home. I belong to the tribe of Deathweavers. Raised on black soil of the woods, they were able to communicate with those who died. They didn’t have powers that humans were sure they possessed. They didn’t make bloody offerings, they never harmed any thinking creatures and even their hunts were seldom performed in a sacred way during winter and summer solstice… They never summoned demons, nor did they send a sickness on the invaders’ king, who after becoming ill, ordered to wipe my tribe from the face of the earth.

I was only a small child, when my parents, maddened by constant danger, decided to do what humans expected from them, even after all these countless years and decades of hunting on remaining Deathweavers. During one of darkest rites, which existed only to help elvinkind in grave danger, they casted a curse. It was them who inflicted all of this on me. They poured all grief they had into my soul and created a shadow. They thought I would be able to take revenge on the human king when the shadow grew. And then, when all was done, they took  their own lives.”

He laughed bitterly.

“That’s what a human family in which I grew up told me, at least. They were good people. They gave my parents home when they wandered through the burnt woods, which even now, after long years, still didn’t gain even one green leaf. They tried to stop my mother, but her rage was too strong. They closed the humans in the room, to safely perform the rite. When they freed themselves, chopping the door with a hatchet, it was all over.”

Arialin looked at Raithea, if he still looks and listens. He did, a stoic expression on his face, when he nodded at him to continue.

“I lived with a hope to avenge my family, and all elves who died, burned, in Undun, ages ago. But quickly, I realized that my shadow is far from making me invincible. It never harmed my body, but soon, after I reached tvelve, it was obvious that it’s my mind which is in danger. She… she spoke to me at night. Demanding, pleading. She wanted to be my friend and enemy, my salvation and my end. I even started to think that she is mad, like my parents. To ease my tormented mind, I was reading old legends about elvin kind” he smiled sadly. “I learnt a lot about Raithea Rhuitaure and his ail wife. Sometimes I wanted to use my shadow to be like you, a hero leading army to battle and find myself among folk tales. Other times, I wanted to be dead, also like you. Arasot, Kidran, Soothiel. Elvin heroes, who were inspiring me, even if they all died and were long gone. When the shadow was entering deeper into my mind, whispering things I never wanted to hear, I wondered if you and elves in the age of light also had shadow companions, delirium was making me dream that they fought it and came victorious. And my shadow… she didn’t like it.

Soon, I learned to talk with her. It was always in the corner of my eye, never truly seen, but always there. Waiting. I sensed darkness in her, but also curiosity. Will to understand. So I decided that I want to understand her too. Small steps, one after another and I learned to oppose her. She never truly understood my feelings for my human family. She felt my rage on humankind and one night, I woke up with blood of my adoptive parents on my hands. Delirious and almost mad, the shadow took me away for the first time.

She carried my feet to the worst district of the nearby town. Thieves and other ruffians left me alone, laying in rain in a trash that infested the street and which was tossed from the suspicious tavern’s window. I was crazy from worry, guilt and self loathing. But she told me she did that to hide me, among criminals and malefactors. I really felt like one of them, and I agreed to stay hidden. So she carried me through the land, taking my memory and senses, tossing me into the worst places, and I started to be sure she wants to lead me somewhere. And now I understood that she led me…”

“Here” Raithea nodded, his fingers forming a small pyramid, while she observed an array of emotion on his guest’s face.

“Yes, I think she led me here” Arialin sighed with resignation but also budding hope.

“For sure, she wants you to commit another crime. Do what your blood orders her to do” Raithea’s eyes became almost black when a candle flickered.

“That is…”

“To kill the king, obviously.”

Silence. The wight of this sentence fell on them like an hard stone.

“But… but… how could I even?” Arialin spoke. “I am alone, and the king is well guarded. I also heard that he is a strong, big man, who could break my neck like a stick!”

Raithea slowly stood up and approached Arialin. Then, he took his hand in his smaller one and within a second, he pulled a small dagger, Arialin instinctively backed off, but Raithea shook his hand.

“Your blood is the key. I need a sample, for magical tests.”

Arialin swallowed a ball in his throat and nodded. Do not do anything, he wants to help, he said inside himself.

He is dark. Darker that me.

And that’s why he is able to help.

To destroy me. To leave you weak and bleeding.

Arialin closed his eyes and only then, Raithea’s dagger stabbed him lightly in the middle finger. Small drop of blood appeared on the top. Raithea drew a void space with his finger and with another directed the blood into it, to later carry it to his laboratorium.

“I never saw such magic before” Arialin observed a small bubble with his blood floating over Raithea’s hand.

“Most didn’t see” Raithae chuckled darkly.

“So… you will test it now?” Arialin was curious.

“Now, I will go to my workroom to write down some orders connected with you. And you,” his eyes gleamed with slight amusement, for the first time since Arialin met him. “You will sleep. And that is a command, from someone who knows much more than you.”